Sunday, October 28, 2012

Paleo Burger, but mostly Ketchup. HAHA

First some Paleo for you, then some Ketchup.  Err, I mean catch up. 
Paleo Mushroom Burgers 
by JennyMac's Lipsmack

4 portabello mushroom caps
1 pound organic ground beef
1/2 onion, finely minced
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 Tbsp finely chopped fresh herb of choice (I used oregano)
salt and pepper
cheese
raw or precooked bacon
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  • Pop off mushroom stems and use a spoon to remove the mushroom 'gills' underneath the cap (this will make the mushroom render a lot of water and make it 'weepy').
  • Mix ground beef with onion, garlic, herbs and S/P.
  • Divide beef with hands into fourths.
  • Pack each mushroom cap with one fourth of the ground beef mixture.
  • If bacon is raw, criss cross top with two bacon.  If bacon is leftover and already cooked save it for later to garnish.
  • Bake in oven for 20-30 minutes (until it is rare, medium or well done as you like)
  • Cover with cheese and or bacon or both.

After my vacation post, life got crazy....

1.  When we returned from Va Beach, my friend told us that a neighbor had kittens that she was fostering that could be adopted.  It was about a year now that we put our 20 y.o beloved Tricksy to sleep.  We felt it was time and this was our sign...
There was only one left to adopt, the other two were spoken for.  We wanted two, for them to be companions, playmates.  They didn't necessarily have to be from the same litter.

 Here is a sample of her "Bikini" spots hence her now namesake.  So Gina our Foster Kitty Mom and neighbor found us another. 

He was two weeks older was black with ghost stripes like "Bikini" and he had a white spot underneath his belly between his hind legs...OMG.  His name has to be "Speedo"  So it was...


Bikini and Speedo.  Our lives were now changed.  Um....we had no idea....

I am now a week out of Hernia surgery and Speedo started to get sick.  Long story, short.  He had a kitty condition we never heard of- FIP.  Feline Infectious Peritonitis.  Rare. yet fatal.  He had him for only 3 weeks and now faced with decisions about putting him down.  Talk about devastation.  Now, Bikini was alone.  BUT our plan was to have TWO kitties.  We needed to do something fast.  We didn't want Bikini to get un-used to having another kitty in her life or cats in general.
We could have gone back to DC for another adoption (easier I am sure, having already adopted 2 but a pain to drive to) so we went online hunting...when the place heard 'Kini was not tested for Feline Leukemia (which was DC's protocol - kittens often get false negative from Mommy cat's immunities).  We got "Kini tested and went to Petsmart while we waited for the results.  Almost didn't get approved went they heard about Speedo's passing from FIP....thank god that the director was smart on FIP it's exposure it not necessarily passed especially since he and Bikini weren't siblings.  So we found....



Scooter.  They said he was about 4 months.  No way, to be only 3 weeks older than 'Kini, he def was older.  Shortly grew his canine teeth.  Kini still has her baby canines.  It's fine his age is 'off' but more sad to not know his actual Birthday like we know Bikini's...but Wow he is such a Lovebug.  Medium Short Hair.  Tuxedo markings.  Highly playful like Bikini is....Great match.

Tending to two little kittens or trying not to whilst recuperation from Hernia Surgery...not fun.  That was a long month.  Here it is almost the end of October and we are still trying to get them to stop sharing the same kitty cold.  We had a scare with Scooter's eye that got scratched and discovered his eye rimming with pus one day.   We've been to the emergency vet at least once a month (3 times) and 4 mobile vet home visits.  

Bikini has something going on with her eyes being 'weepy'....can't seem to shake that and her sneezing.  One of my school friends compared this to being a parent with a 'special needs' child...I said NO KIDDING.  Although I can handle a special needs kitty/kitties.  My fear is anything becoming fatal.  The calici virus Scooter showed up in his gums after I thought it was strange for him to have bad breath at a young age.

So our life is waiting for our two kitties to be healthy at once.  However since they seem to have NO MANNERS (lol) to NOT sneeze in the face of one another....it seems it will be awhile.  Bikini will be 6 months on Nov 22 and some of these viruses won't shed until they are no longer are kittens.  We just have to keep them happy, fed and stress-free.  Will keep you posted.

2.  As for me and my 'recup' from surgery.  It's so hard being independent and have to ask for help for something stupid like picking something off the floor or  looking if there is salsa on the bottom shelf in the fridge.  Going back to work was hard for I felt dumb asking for help pushing my classroom tables around the room.  Although I am past my 8 week- no activity lockdown...I am still sore internally...a severe tightness.  A lot was done inside and was told I may be sore for 6 months.  If I am busy and sitting, I feel normal...however when I move, bend over, lift things, close a window, anything using my abdominal muscles....coughing- sneezing.  I feel 'things'.  Weird.  It's nice to have a flatter stomach (my incisional hernia jutting out got me accused of 'pregnancy' TWICE) however don't hold your breath for any bikini wearing. HA!  Will keep you posted.

3.  To Trinda- you asked me about why legumes were not allowed on the Paleo way of eating.  Simply put by Living Paleo blog:
"Legumes have a similar story to grains; they weren’t consumed by the paleo hunter-gatherer because they needed to be cooked in order to be edible."

A more complicated explanation is:  "Legumes also have similar traits to grains in their make-up; they contain phytates which inhibit nutrient absorption and cause inflammation. They also contain lectins and play with healthy hormonal functions."

As for you thinking about missing legumes.  That is possible.  It depends what your 'thing' is.  The 'cheat' for me that I miss eating is breads.  The crunchy crusty outside and the chewy moist inside.  You can't get those two things together with Paleo breads.  I've tried.  So I make do....save eating the yummy crusty stuff on special occasions if available...it's a treat.  Not deprivation.  Remember not diet....lifestyle.

4.  We got a new stove.  I bought this house 6 years ago (in December).  It was a 'flipped' home with newly renovated kitchen.  However the stove was a bottom of the barrel GE stainless steel gas stove.  It did not self clean and no bells or whistles.  Worst, it heated up the upstairs so badly we could only use the grill and microwave in the summer.  Last year, the oven went 'cuckoo' before T-day so we had no oven for me to make a turkey.  We got a repairman who replaced the thermostat.  A few weeks ago the thermostat conked out again.  Didn't even make it a year.  I told K-man...that's it!!! We aren't fixing this crappy stove again.  This is what we got:
Yes,  the double oven!!! I was so excited!!!  I was a good girl and did my research to see WHICH I wanted.  This is a Whirlpool (hope she doesn't feel weird amongst all the other GE appliances) flat grate on the burners...no open space for a spoon rest (I don't miss it).  K-man was trying to talk me into the 5 burners and I told him MAYBE on a big cooking day I may use 3....I can't see needing 5 now.  And those griddles are a joke.  My electric griddle is much bigger and the reviews all said that pancakes took forever.  I like how the knobs are not vertical on the front nor horizontal on the surface of the burner.  They are at an angle so I won't get 'caught' on them.  I decided against spending the extra 1,000 for a convection oven.  It wasn't going to really make me a better or faster cook.  The good news is that the oven does not heat up the kitchen...therefore there is no heat to rise up to the upstairs.  Love it....stay tuned for our next appliance....Fridge on top and freezer on the bottom model.

Last Catch up...

5.  K-man and started dating 6 years ago in December.  We got engaged last December and so much harassment for a date....sheesh!....Since we are older we have no desire for the pricey pomp and circumstance of a formal wedding and reception.  We want it just us and special.  So finally we set a date: 12-12-12.  Just a formality downtown to make the date permanent- our more fun, emotional and spiritual part will occur this summer.  Will be nice to NOT have a last name that people ALWAYS mispronounce!  And my name Googled will cross reference with a celebrity.....HAHA!  

Consider yourself all Ketched up!


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Vomit Piles


HHAHAHAHA!  Why not?  Halloween is coming!!!  What I absolutely ADORE about Halloween is that it is my opportunity to take a simple no bake treat with chocolate and oatmeal and rename it and it totally works!

I have this recipe elsewhere called a Raggedy Robin or Cow Patties.  I made this on Friday for my students, they loved it.  It worked nicely for our abbreviated periods (we had early release) for I was able to make it, chill it and they ATE.  Please tune in for more recipes to come or go to my link to ALL my Halloween recipes on my school web page.

Vomit Piles
by JennyMac Lipsmack

 1/2-cup milk
1 stick margarine
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
2 c. sugar
1/2-cup peanut butter
1 tsp. vanilla

3 c. oatmeal
 
Combine first four ingredients.  Cook on medium heat until boiling.  Rolling boil for 1 - 1 & 1/2 min.  Remove from heat and mix vanilla and peanut butter.  Mix well.  Pour over oatmeal in a large bowl.  Mix quickly in a large bowl.   Spoon out onto wax paper*.  Let cool for 10 minutes.
 
*Grosser addition: add some 'chunks' like raisins, dried apricots bits, nuts for more gross out value!!

My recipes to come that I am making at school are:
  • Spider Web Breadsticks
  • Hairy armpits
  • Spider Cake (made with a Zebra Cake base)
  • Used Tampons (don't worry, it's for a ALL girl class- only they could appreciate)
  • Ghost Cake 
  • Maybe a picture of my classroom kitchen decorated for Halloween (a FIRST!)



Enjoy!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Gearing up for Halloween

Let's start out healthy on our treats for Halloween and slowly get evil?  Nah, Halloween food is all about deception and FUN.
I was just telling some colleagues about how I used to do the food for my school's Halloween dances.  My funny observance?  When it comes to FREE food and teenagers....watch out, you may lose a hand.  Chips, cookies, candies for free.....WHOOSH!  It's gone in a few minutes.  When I did the food and gave it gross names and formed it to resemble things like POOP....SCREECH!  For some reason taking raisins stirred melted chocolate forming it into little logs and calling them "Fruit Poops"....I had to talk them INTO coming BACK to the table and eating it.  That was hilarious!  Anyhow, more of those recipes to come. 

Today I'd like to share with you what I made for my fellow FACS teachers at our meeting.
My little Veggie Skeleton.  Isn't he CUTE?  It was just us Middle School teachers the high school teachers were a no show so they missed out.  The four of us 'killed' him easily.  Hahaha.

So if you are planning a Halloween party with a lot of junk....make this little guy and you'll be surprised that he may disappear before the high calorie stuff.  Make sure you hit my cook's notes at the end for the SHORTCUTS!!!

Veggie Skeleton

2 cups of ranch dip
2 celery stalks cut into 3 parts
1 red pepper cut into strips (see picture)
6-8 mushrooms, sliced
2 cauliflower flowerets, halved
8 baby carrots
1 black olive, pitted and cut in half
10 spinach leaves
10 cucumber slices

This really has no directions other than save the picture and arrange it on your platter as shown.  However...

Cook's Notes:
1.  Most of these items I took from the salad bar at my grocery.
2.  Grabbed a tub of ranch dip and placed in white bowl, stuck in spinach leaf hair and two eyes.  Didn't feel the need for a mouth.
3.  I only bought a whole red pepper because the salad bar was LOW on the red ones.
4.  I purchased a container of the celery stalks because the salad bar always chops up their celery for salads.  Same goes for baby carrots.  And you are going to need extras to use up all the dip. 
5.  Very easy to put together and cute as a button!